9 days
40 hours in the car
6 states (including Cali)
4 hotels, 1 mobile home
1 memorable family vacation
We all had our moments, but we still love each other. No one killed anyone. Yet. ;)
The final day of our trip, Resurrection Sunday, we visited our old church for Easter service. What a great time of worship and hearing the Word being preached!
Recently, it had been on my heart to contact this church and see if they would be interested in hosting our Christian dance ministry for performances. I wanted to make connections with the church while I was physically there, but when the opportune moment came, I didn't feel up to it. I'll just email or call them instead. Later.
My mom asked me after the service was over if I wanted to find someone to talk with about us performing there. Yes! But, no. Kinda, sorta. Nah. It's okay. I shrugged it off. For some strange reason, it sounded scary to me. I knew this was something I wanted to do, but something was seriously holding me back.
After we took a typical family photo outside of the church, I decided to make a little bit of a deal. If I find our business card in my purse, I'll go find someone to talk to. I began to search my wallet and bag. No business cards were in sight. That's it, I won't go.
Word got to my dad that I was itching to talk to someone and he basically dragged me into the sanctuary kicking and screaming. (Well, at least that's how I felt.) Right before we were about to go introduce ourselves to some of the main people in the church, I broke. I started crying. Yep, I was scared out of my wits. Oh dear.
People, hear me out. All the Lord was calling me to do was introduce myself. To friendly people. And talk. About dancing. For Jesus. In church. This was NBD. These are all things I am normally super comfortable with. I've done far scarier things in my time. What in the world was wrong with me?! Fear had overtaken me completely.
My poor family was wondering what happened to me that would cause me cry over something like this. My tears are not an everyday occurrence...something had to have been wrong! Honestly, I just told them that I didn't know why I was crying; I really didn't. Looking back on it now, it's clear this was a serious spiritual attack.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind."
{2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV}
God does not place a fearful spirit within us. That fearfully shy spirit that came upon me was not from the Lord. In fact, the Bible says that perfect love casts out all fear. His love gets rid of that fear. Casts it out. Throws it away. When that timidity is gone, we are fearless in Christ. And guess what? The devil just won't put up with that. At all. How did he attack? By crippling me with fear. It almost worked.
Praise the Lord my dad had the courage to go up and talk to people while I was collecting myself and drying my tears. I finally decided I had to accomplish this small mission. So I did. I talked to the right people, made connections, and did what I knew I had to do. Thank You, Jesus.
I know this whole story may make me sound incredibly lame, but this is real life. I didn't share this with everyone to talk about random occurrences during my Easter break. I want to encourage you if you're fearful and tell you, "I totally know. I've been there!" Our flesh constantly wages war with our spirit and we give way to fear. We're human. We get scared at the little things that really are no big deal at all. Heck, I even got scared about publishing this post! Fear hinders us from accomplishing God's will in our lives. Don't let the devil scare you from setting out on a mission for the Lord. Be bold. DO IT.
If you made it to the end of this post (and actually read the whole thing) give yourself a pat on the back. It was long. If you're my family who's reading this, you're probably laughing because you were there with me during my most vulnerable moments. Thanks for stickin' up for me. You rock.
With that being said, I am off to school! Since it's first day back after Easter vacation, this is my attire for the morning. Don't hate. Chemistry at 7:00 am shows no mercy.
I hope each of you had a wonderful Easter! Jesus is ALIVE! Amen?!
"Death has been beaten,
the grave has been conquered.
Jesus is risen,
life ever after!"
{"The Victory" by Phil Wickham}
xo,
AKG
love you!
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