When You Realize You're A Cow

My friends! Happy Thursday! What a great day it is.

It's a cloudy day.
It's a coffee day.
It's a Bible study date day.
It's a Pinterest project day.
It's a restful day.
It's a blogging day.

Oh happy day. :)

This morning, I met my (adopted) aunt at Starbucks for our new, exciting study through the book Preparing To Be A Help Meet by Debi Pearl. (I highly recommend it, especially for single and dating women.) Today we discussed chapter two which brings up the topic of stubbornness. Oh dear. To prepare for this week, I searched the word stubborn on Google. Dictionary.com defined it as, "fixed or set in purpose or opinion; resolute." Collins English Dictionary defined it as, "refusing to comply, agree or give in; obstinate. Difficult to handle, treat, or overcome. Persistant and dogged." Wowza. Something clicked in my head and I realized this:

I've totally been stubborn with the Lord before.

When I didn't want to surrender, commit my plans to Him, or do things His way, I was a stubborn girl. I knew that I went through periods when I struggled with letting go and letting God take the lead, but I never really connected the dots that I was clearly demonstrating a stubborn attitude. In Preparing To Be A Help Meet, Pearl states, "Stubbornness can wreck your life" (26). To me, stubbornness sounds like:

I have my own plan.
I want to be in control.
Lord, it's okay; I can handle it.

Oh how this does indeed wreck your life.

During our discussion while sipping our morning coffee, Auntie Kim brought up that she studied the word stubborn on Blue Letter Bible. The Hebrew word for stubborn (סָרַר) is used in the Bible to describe Israel's rebellion and unfaithfulness to God. Hosea 4:16 says, "For Israel slideth back (סָרַר) as a backsliding (סָרַר) heifer." {KJV} Being stubborn is like a rebellious cow?! How totally awesome. I love being compared to a heifer. Ew.

The super cool thing about this topic is its timing. Yesterday, I just began day one of the She Reads Truth study through the book of Hosea, which means for the next sixteen days I will be reading and studying all about how my stubborn actions relate to an adulterous woman AND how the Lord continues to love me through it all. Just thought that was kinda awesome! Don't you just love when the Holy Spirit works like that?! Woo, this is gonna be good. :)

I encourage you to search your heart to see if you find any stubborn qualities in yourself. I know I can! Also, if you want to jump on board with me and hundreds of other women to study the book of Hosea, sign up here! You're only one day behind; I just know you can catch up and take the challenge. DO IT!

Thank you, Auntie Kim.
Thank you, #SheReadsTruth.
Thank you, Thursday.
Thank You, Jesus.

xo,
AKG

Glorifying God Through a Wooden Boy

Happy Tuesday my friends! As many of you know, this past weekend we put on an incredibly diverse, goofy, heartfelt, worshipful dance production entitled "Pinocchio: A Story of the Prodigal Son". Yes, I just said "Pinocchio" and "The Prodigal Son" in the same sentence. It was all about the Lord. (Keep reading.)

I remember when our director first called me after having a vision about this production. As she laid on her bed fighting a serious illness in the midst of our December show, God spoke to her. She told me we were going to put on a show in April that was a spin on Pinocchio with the message of the prodigal son. Uh...okay, I thought, Sounds fun! So, we set out to do what God had told us. And boy was He pulling out miracles left and right throughout this whole process. Even as the Lord was demonstrating His faithfulness over and over again, I still had my doubts. Heck, I bet we all did! Putting on a whole new show in only three short months? Like that's gonna happen, the devil would say. The Lord would say, All things are possible with Me. Yes Lord, I know, but I still had my doubts. I even wanted to call it quits a week before the show! I was done being Pinocchio! I didn't want attention, added stress, more rehearsals, and time away from homework. I was done. BUT, God reminded me that it was all about Him and His glory, not about me and my comfort.

So, we pulled it off God worked through us to accomplish His will. The gospel was preached to many people. Hearts were touched. I believe that lives were changed. And all because we answered when God called, even when it was tough.

With all that being said, here are some (well, maybe far too many) closing thoughts.

I loved being a part of "Pinocchio"*

* I loved the special peace that surrounded my heart and body the day of the show. Jesus was with me.

* I loved being able to flex my feet whenever I pleased. No one cared. I was a wooden boy for goodness sake!

* I loved that people thought my usual goofiness was golden humor.

* I loved wearing one costume the.whole.entire.show. It's really the best thing in the world.

* I loved the awkward moments on stage due to technical difficulties. It challenged my abilities as a dancer, actress, and comedian. ;)

* I loved hearing the audience laugh, swoon, gasp, cry, and applaud all at once.

* I loved that I stuffed my face with cookies while onstage and not having enough time to chew and swallow. I picked up the Bible and read it in front of the audience, conveying a serious message of conviction and repentance, as I was trying to gulp the remains of chocolate down my throat. I almost lost it and starting laughing. True story.

* I loved the moms backstage who were constantly asking me if I was drinking enough water or eating enough food. You guys rock!

* I loved the sweet times of prayer I had with others before showtime. So encouraging.

* I loved that I turned my head every time someone said, "Pinocchio". My brain has now adapted to that name.

* I loved greeting young boys and girls after the performance like I was a Disney character. Dream come true right there.

* I loved speaking in front of a rather large audience for the first time in a Pinocchio costume. Also, I just loved speaking. It was all the Lord.

* I loved my first sip of coffee after fasting for over thirty days. My goodness, how enjoyable it was.

* I loved that our idea of partying was eating pizza and talking with everyone about the show and the shows to come.

* I loved that everything was all about Jesus.

Just for laughs, here's a sneak peak of our show.

(Giggles) Fun memories. :)

I hope your week is going well! God bless!

Love,
Pinocch- ...I mean, Ashton

"Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but to Your name give glory, because of Your mercy, because of Your truth." 
{Psalm 115:1, NKJV}

xo,
AKG

Monday Morning Happiness and Joy

Wearing this sweatshirt to school makes me happy.

Red nails make me happy.

My wedding board on Pinterest makes me happy.

The fact that I will be able to drink coffee in just five short days (after fasting for nearly a month) makes me happy.

Spending time with Jesus this morning makes me happy joyful.

Those random slices of happiness can fade away, but joy cannot. Happiness is simply an emotion. It comes and goes. Joy is everlasting. Nothing can take that away; it's constant. Jesus gives us happiness joy.

"...your joy no one will take from you."

{Jesus, John 16:22, NKJV}

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!" 

{Paul, Philippians 4:4, NKJV}

CHOOSE JOY.

I'm choosing to be joyful this crisp Monday morning. The Lord has a full supply to give me. Thank You, Jesus. What makes you happy and joyful today?

xo,

AKG

Road Trip Memories and Lessons

Well friends, Easter break is officially over and I'm headed back to school. Sigh. It never lasts long enough, does it? I had a lovely week, however. Our fam went on a road trip! I'll spare you the millions of details and wrap it up in a nutshell:

9 days
40 hours in the car
6 states (including Cali)
4 hotels, 1 mobile home
1 memorable family vacation

We all had our moments, but we still love each other. No one killed anyone. Yet. ;)

The final day of our trip, Resurrection Sunday, we visited our old church for Easter service. What a great time of worship and hearing the Word being preached!

Recently, it had been on my heart to contact this church and see if they would be interested in hosting our Christian dance ministry for performances. I wanted to make connections with the church while I was physically there, but when the opportune moment came, I didn't feel up to it. I'll just email or call them instead. Later.

My mom asked me after the service was over if I wanted to find someone to talk with about us performing there. Yes! But, no. Kinda, sorta. Nah. It's okay. I shrugged it off. For some strange reason, it sounded scary to me. I knew this was something I wanted to do, but something was seriously holding me back.

After we took a typical family photo outside of the church, I decided to make a little bit of a deal. If I find our business card in my purse, I'll go find someone to talk to. I began to search my wallet and bag. No business cards were in sight. That's it, I won't go.

Word got to my dad that I was itching to talk to someone and he basically dragged me into the sanctuary kicking and screaming. (Well, at least that's how I felt.) Right before we were about to go introduce ourselves to some of the main people in the church, I broke. I started crying. Yep, I was scared out of my wits. Oh dear.

People, hear me out. All the Lord was calling me to do was introduce myself. To friendly people. And talk. About dancing. For Jesus. In church. This was NBD. These are all things I am normally super comfortable with. I've done far scarier things in my time. What in the world was wrong with me?! Fear had overtaken me completely.

My poor family was wondering what happened to me that would cause me cry over something like this. My tears are not an everyday occurrence...something had to have been wrong! Honestly, I just told them that I didn't know why I was crying; I really didn't. Looking back on it now, it's clear this was a serious spiritual attack.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind." 
{2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV}

God does not place a fearful spirit within us. That fearfully shy spirit that came upon me was not from the Lord. In fact, the Bible says that perfect love casts out all fear. His love gets rid of that fear. Casts it out. Throws it away. When that timidity is gone, we are fearless in Christ. And guess what? The devil just won't put up with that. At all. How did he attack? By crippling me with fear. It almost worked.

Praise the Lord my dad had the courage to go up and talk to people while I was collecting myself and drying my tears. I finally decided I had to accomplish this small mission. So I did. I talked to the right people, made connections, and did what I knew I had to do. Thank You, Jesus.

I know this whole story may make me sound incredibly lame, but this is real life. I didn't share this with everyone to talk about random occurrences during my Easter break. I want to encourage you if you're fearful and tell you, "I totally know. I've been there!" Our flesh constantly wages war with our spirit and we give way to fear. We're human. We get scared at the little things that really are no big deal at all. Heck, I even got scared about publishing this post! Fear hinders us from accomplishing God's will in our lives. Don't let the devil scare you from setting out on a mission for the Lord. Be bold. DO IT.

If you made it to the end of this post (and actually read the whole thing) give yourself a pat on the back. It was long. If you're my family who's reading this, you're probably laughing because you were there with me during my most vulnerable moments. Thanks for stickin' up for me. You rock.

With that being said, I am off to school! Since it's first day back after Easter vacation, this is my attire for the morning. Don't hate. Chemistry at 7:00 am shows no mercy.

I hope each of you had a wonderful Easter! Jesus is ALIVE! Amen?!

"Death has been beaten,
the grave has been conquered.
Jesus is risen,
life ever after!"
{"The Victory" by Phil Wickham}

xo,
AKG